Friday, January 30, 2004
Forgiveness..
I was reading an article today about what you need to do in order to find love. There was one rule: "Let go of fear." It was actually the only rule that the author had suggested. said, "It's either fear of losing yourself, or fear of being cast out, rejected."
I have this fear.. of forgiving people. Does forgiving someone mean that you are giving them another chance to hurt you again... or is it something you must do for your own selfish reasons? I'm much better than I used to be. Forgiveness was never in my vocabulary - if anybody knew how to hold a grudge, it was me. But something happened and I learned that holding grudges makes you a very unhappy person. I lost many friends because of my inability to forgive them.
My roommate once said that it's hard to forgive because at the same time, you don't want to be stupid - you want to learn from your mistakes and you want to be able to assure yourself that you won't be fooled again.
But forgiveness is about being able to look at the person who has wronged you - know that they are sorry - and move on from there...it is being able to open your heart to be hurt again because you know that not having this person in your life is far more painful than dealing with how they wronged you.
With love must come forgiveness. People who love each other hurt each other all the time. Whether intentionally or not, it happens and it is normal. I believe that love is more powerful than anger..so why not let love be the reason to forgive and let that be the lesson.
I have this fear.. of forgiving people. Does forgiving someone mean that you are giving them another chance to hurt you again... or is it something you must do for your own selfish reasons? I'm much better than I used to be. Forgiveness was never in my vocabulary - if anybody knew how to hold a grudge, it was me. But something happened and I learned that holding grudges makes you a very unhappy person. I lost many friends because of my inability to forgive them.
My roommate once said that it's hard to forgive because at the same time, you don't want to be stupid - you want to learn from your mistakes and you want to be able to assure yourself that you won't be fooled again.
But forgiveness is about being able to look at the person who has wronged you - know that they are sorry - and move on from there...it is being able to open your heart to be hurt again because you know that not having this person in your life is far more painful than dealing with how they wronged you.
With love must come forgiveness. People who love each other hurt each other all the time. Whether intentionally or not, it happens and it is normal. I believe that love is more powerful than anger..so why not let love be the reason to forgive and let that be the lesson.
