Friday, March 12, 2004
Generic Boyfriend
I was reading the webpage of my roommate's xbf yesterday at work while struggling to stay awake, considering the sheer boredome that I experience everyday. And I came across one of his articles that I found pretty interesting. Although not one of my favourite people in the world, I find that he is a pretty good writer with thoughts that I am sure he expresses better in words than in voice.
He said that girls generally compare their bfs to what he calls a "Generic boyfriend." He writes:
What is up with most girls nagging about little things anyway? This was done wrong, that was done wrong, "her boyfriend doesn't do that", "her boyfriend did that for her, why can't you?", "why can't you be more like this", "why can't you be a little more that?".
I don't know if that's what he experienced with my roommate or if he is experiencing that with his gf now... but it made me question: Do we girls compare our bfs to our idea of a "generic" bf?
In another article he writes:
If selfishness is in there with love, it's not love at all. Because as we all know, love is not selfish. Love could very well result, but is there anything that makes it clear to you that they love you? Or is there strong reason to believe that they just love being in love? ...Doing all those things just makes me "some guy" who's only "doing those things". The girl on the receiving end is only kidding herself because *any* person could be that "some guy" who is "doing those things". That would be a girl who's only concern (love) is that these "signs of love" are being done, and therefore kids herself into believing that love is there.
It sounded a bit bitter to me.. but at the same time, I began to question what could have triggered his kind of thinking. I don't think I've ever said that to my bf...telling him to be more like someone else. I think that is kind of unfair to be honest. I mean, why look at another person's relationship and want what they have?
Do i have a version of a "generic bf" that I compare my bf to? I mean, where do I get these ideas of how a guy is "supposed" to treat me? Where do I learn all this information from if not from what I see around me and from what I learn in school, books, tv.. socially?
hm... something I've been thinking about.
He said that girls generally compare their bfs to what he calls a "Generic boyfriend." He writes:
What is up with most girls nagging about little things anyway? This was done wrong, that was done wrong, "her boyfriend doesn't do that", "her boyfriend did that for her, why can't you?", "why can't you be more like this", "why can't you be a little more that?".
I don't know if that's what he experienced with my roommate or if he is experiencing that with his gf now... but it made me question: Do we girls compare our bfs to our idea of a "generic" bf?
In another article he writes:
If selfishness is in there with love, it's not love at all. Because as we all know, love is not selfish. Love could very well result, but is there anything that makes it clear to you that they love you? Or is there strong reason to believe that they just love being in love? ...Doing all those things just makes me "some guy" who's only "doing those things". The girl on the receiving end is only kidding herself because *any* person could be that "some guy" who is "doing those things". That would be a girl who's only concern (love) is that these "signs of love" are being done, and therefore kids herself into believing that love is there.
It sounded a bit bitter to me.. but at the same time, I began to question what could have triggered his kind of thinking. I don't think I've ever said that to my bf...telling him to be more like someone else. I think that is kind of unfair to be honest. I mean, why look at another person's relationship and want what they have?
Do i have a version of a "generic bf" that I compare my bf to? I mean, where do I get these ideas of how a guy is "supposed" to treat me? Where do I learn all this information from if not from what I see around me and from what I learn in school, books, tv.. socially?
hm... something I've been thinking about.
