Monday, April 19, 2004
Knowing When It's Right...
I've had the pleasure of talking to a friend of a friend in recent conversations. He is getting married and I asked him, "How do you know when this is the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with?" And he said something along the lines of: You know when this is the person for you when you wake up and realize your life is better with this person and not without them. You'll know with a certainty that you choose NOT to go another day without this person in your life.. and that's when you want to make that permanent commitment to give your heart completely.
Do you think that it's more of a realization through time... or one that is instant and suddenly, you "just know." Isn't it a process? Is it like a business plan when all your assets are good and you just want a partner to share it with? Or is it like in the movies when you wake up one day, you look over, and say, "Gosh darnnit, this is it.. this is as good as it gets."
Yesterday, on a nice drive through the country, my bf and I had a discussion about "being ready." He and I both agreed that we're not ready - I'm certainly not ready because I haven't even finished school yet! But in our discussion, we realized that we know we want to be with each other in the future...that we'll make our decisions together. Which led me to believe that it is a process.. I mean, i didn't just wake up one day and say, "Gosh! He's the one for me" - it's been a process and getting to know him makes me want to be with him.
Whether or not the decisions are right or wrong doesn't really matter. What really matters is how you've grown together.. how you feel and how much faith you have in the relationship. He asked me to name five adjectives to describe my perfect soulmate. The top two on both of our lists were Loving and Understanding, with topics of Forgiveness, Intimacy falling under either/or.
So I don't think that it's just something you wake up and know one day.. I think it's something that you learn...it takes time...it takes a lot of patience.. and a whole lotta faith.
Do you think that it's more of a realization through time... or one that is instant and suddenly, you "just know." Isn't it a process? Is it like a business plan when all your assets are good and you just want a partner to share it with? Or is it like in the movies when you wake up one day, you look over, and say, "Gosh darnnit, this is it.. this is as good as it gets."
Yesterday, on a nice drive through the country, my bf and I had a discussion about "being ready." He and I both agreed that we're not ready - I'm certainly not ready because I haven't even finished school yet! But in our discussion, we realized that we know we want to be with each other in the future...that we'll make our decisions together. Which led me to believe that it is a process.. I mean, i didn't just wake up one day and say, "Gosh! He's the one for me" - it's been a process and getting to know him makes me want to be with him.
Whether or not the decisions are right or wrong doesn't really matter. What really matters is how you've grown together.. how you feel and how much faith you have in the relationship. He asked me to name five adjectives to describe my perfect soulmate. The top two on both of our lists were Loving and Understanding, with topics of Forgiveness, Intimacy falling under either/or.
So I don't think that it's just something you wake up and know one day.. I think it's something that you learn...it takes time...it takes a lot of patience.. and a whole lotta faith.
