Friday, May 28, 2004
To be a mom..or to not be a mom...?
After dinner at Mr. Sushi with my roommate, we sat in the dining room and she blurted out that something was seriously wrong with her. "what!? what!?" She says that she may not like kids very much. And here I thought it was something of a big deal.
Why is it that women nowadays are made to feel guilty if they don't like children? For the longest time... in history, men have despised kids and some have not even been involved in the lives of their children. But when a woman does it... she is scorned, told that she lacks the maternal instinct, is not loving, is less of a woman. That is ridiculous.
I told my roommate that it didn't matter if she wanted kids or not..I would rather her not have kids than have kids and regret it, right?
Given the fact that we're only in our early 20's, having children is not at the top of our priority list. I know that I want children but if I should change my mind one day, I don't think that it should be considered the "wrong" decision.
In my Sexuality, Marriage and Family class, we spoke about the changing trends in child-bearing in the last decade. Sure, women are having children at an older age and also having less children. Sure it does damage to our population but come on...is it that big a deal? Society has changed as well.. change is inevitable.
My prof said that one of the reasons for this decline in childbirth is because more women have been introduced to the work force and a little something called "education." Kudos to us for realizing that we're not just put on this earth to become baby-popping machines! Kudos to us for wanting a career and feeling proud of our lives!
Having children should be a choice...an informed choice...(for those of us who have a choice)...some want to be married first, some want to be educated first, some want to be employed first, some want the porsche first..whatever it may be...
Don't judge people who don't want kids.. that is their choice. Don't feel bad if you decide that being a mother isn't something you want to explore. It doesn't make you more of a woman if you bear children. We are past the millenium year...this is the new definition of "woman."
Why is it that women nowadays are made to feel guilty if they don't like children? For the longest time... in history, men have despised kids and some have not even been involved in the lives of their children. But when a woman does it... she is scorned, told that she lacks the maternal instinct, is not loving, is less of a woman. That is ridiculous.
I told my roommate that it didn't matter if she wanted kids or not..I would rather her not have kids than have kids and regret it, right?
Given the fact that we're only in our early 20's, having children is not at the top of our priority list. I know that I want children but if I should change my mind one day, I don't think that it should be considered the "wrong" decision.
In my Sexuality, Marriage and Family class, we spoke about the changing trends in child-bearing in the last decade. Sure, women are having children at an older age and also having less children. Sure it does damage to our population but come on...is it that big a deal? Society has changed as well.. change is inevitable.
My prof said that one of the reasons for this decline in childbirth is because more women have been introduced to the work force and a little something called "education." Kudos to us for realizing that we're not just put on this earth to become baby-popping machines! Kudos to us for wanting a career and feeling proud of our lives!
Having children should be a choice...an informed choice...(for those of us who have a choice)...some want to be married first, some want to be educated first, some want to be employed first, some want the porsche first..whatever it may be...
Don't judge people who don't want kids.. that is their choice. Don't feel bad if you decide that being a mother isn't something you want to explore. It doesn't make you more of a woman if you bear children. We are past the millenium year...this is the new definition of "woman."
