..:: Pieces of Mandy ::..

In the spirit of starting work, I thought I'd like to blog about something a little touchy - no pun intended. I was talking to my bf the other day about harassment and he just didn't understand - understandably. It isn't everyday that a man is harassed by a woman with whom he works, and even if there was, I'm sure he'd probably enjoy it a little. Women experience this everyday.

In discussion mode, we talked about this for about half an hour before I realized that I had to break it down to him. He said, "You have to stand up for yourself." Sure, if it were only that easy. You see, when you're in a corporate environment and you are harassed, you have to let it happen a couple of times before you can even CONVINCE someone that it has happened. It's harder for a woman (not that I want to write with feminist overtones or anything - wink, wink) because admitting to harassment and reporting it to HR is a sign of weakness. Trust me, I've seen it happen and have experienced it first-hand.

Women find it hard to report harassment because not only will it soon become office gossip, only a warning is issued after the first report. By then, everybody knows. Some people will believe you...and some won't. In every situation, you have to consider the consequences.. and a lot of women believe that the consequences are too much. Nobody wants to be known as the "prude who can't take a joke" or a liar.

I was at a job once where the girl that worked in my position before me had reported that the vice president harassed her. After I got to know him, I realized that there were so many ways that she could have interpreted his crudeness. He would come by my desk and say, "Get to work. Don't be lazy" and mean it entirely as a joke. Because I didn't take it too seriously, we joked about it alot and I was at his office the next week telling him the same thing. It could be as simple as a difference in personalities. But he got a warning and she left the job and all we're left with in the end is a story about a prude girl who couldn't take a joke. Do you see my point? I felt sorry for her that that is the only impression she left behind...despite the fact that she was a hard-worker - because there was a personality clash and she went to report it, she was made to feel uncomfortable at work.

I've experienced this first-hand as well... and I think it gets harder to deal with as you climb the corporate ladder. I've worked as a bartender at a tennis club for only a year...and during that time, I've been harassed numerous times. I've worked in corporate, professional environments and have been harassed there too! At some point or another, I started to blame myself because I thought I was being overly approachable. But it isn't my fault because I make a conscious effort to voice myself when I am uncomfortable. But there have been incidences where it has been exteremly difficult because I thought about the consequences and couldn't bring myself to report it.

I've only quit once at a job where I was being harassed. I think it blatant sexual harassment and it was only a part-time job. The manager took me to the back office, put his hand on my thigh and told me that he wanted to "teach" me things. I lasted two days at the job and never looked back. It's unfortunate though...even though I can find a job elsewhere...I had to experience something like that. And I'm not the only one. Women everywhere experience harassment - it may not always be sexual, but it makes them uncomfortable.