Thursday, October 14, 2004
Getting over an Ex...
There is no right amount of time that is required to get over an ex. And I truly believe that just because you enter into a new relationship quickly after, it doesn't mean that you are "over" it. There is always a lot of emotional baggage after you end a relationship with someone... as much as you'd like to believe that there isn't. Sometimes entering a new relationship can force you to deal with those issues.. and sometimes it's better to deal with them alone.
When I ended my long-term relationship with my xbf, I entered into a new relationship (not officially) soon after. A lot of people were quick to judge, but they didn't realize that half the time, I was trying to cope with a loss... and being with someone who understood the situation helped me. I waited six months to make it official...but I entered into a new, emotionally-charged relationship after about a month. Of course, my xbf didn't understand and accused me of "looking" way before I broke up with him....but he was just angry at the fact that I had started to confide in someone else - understandably.
So back to my point.. there is no right amount of time that you should take... getting over an ex is a process that takes time. You don't have to be alone...but you don't want to make the same mistakes over again - everything is done better with a bit of thought and time.
It's been two and a half years and there are some things about my last relationship that I continue to deal with. They are issues that I have with myself...and I'm realizing everyday that it takes two to make or break a relationship. Realizing your own faults is a process too...and until you realize that you had a part in the deterioration of that relationship...then you can really start to move on.
Being in a relationship isn't easy...but you are different with different people. Moving on doesn't mean you've completely gotten over it...look at it as a constant learning experiencing...
When I ended my long-term relationship with my xbf, I entered into a new relationship (not officially) soon after. A lot of people were quick to judge, but they didn't realize that half the time, I was trying to cope with a loss... and being with someone who understood the situation helped me. I waited six months to make it official...but I entered into a new, emotionally-charged relationship after about a month. Of course, my xbf didn't understand and accused me of "looking" way before I broke up with him....but he was just angry at the fact that I had started to confide in someone else - understandably.
So back to my point.. there is no right amount of time that you should take... getting over an ex is a process that takes time. You don't have to be alone...but you don't want to make the same mistakes over again - everything is done better with a bit of thought and time.
It's been two and a half years and there are some things about my last relationship that I continue to deal with. They are issues that I have with myself...and I'm realizing everyday that it takes two to make or break a relationship. Realizing your own faults is a process too...and until you realize that you had a part in the deterioration of that relationship...then you can really start to move on.
Being in a relationship isn't easy...but you are different with different people. Moving on doesn't mean you've completely gotten over it...look at it as a constant learning experiencing...
