..:: Pieces of Mandy ::..

Yesterday, over a bowl of bun at the Pho restaurant, Laurie and I had a wonderful discussion of how lonely it feels sometimes to be so freakin' independent. We realized that we're probably not the best girlfriends considering our men never feel needed by us. It's not that we don't NEED men (cuz trust me, WE DO hahaha), it's that we never feel the need to show them or tell them, in fact, sometimes watching other girls whine to their bfs makes us kind of queasy. In actuality, there's nothing wrong with that, we just can't seem to do that without feeling entirely fake.

So if every strong man requires a strong woman.. then a strong woman is definitely going to require a stronger man. A man who is secure enough to know that he is valuable by being there emotionally and to ensure security where a woman is most vulnerable. To me, it's not about buying me expensive gifts or changing the lightbulb - I can do all those things by myself... what I need is a strong man... who is going to love me despite my achievements, despite my ambitions, despite my independence. He's going to see me at my most vulnerable and insecure state and STILL love me. He's not going to act like he knows everything or like he's Mr. Macho... because a strong man doesn't really need to "act" strong.

In psychology, there are studies that show that the more education a woman receives, the less likely she is going to find someone - and if she does, it will be fairly late in life. For one thing, if a woman achieves her PhD, she'll probably be in her thirties before she finishes school. Then dating at that age is hard too because you'll probably be looking for a stable job...and so...there begins the cycle. It's kind of sad that statistics show that successful women cannot find men who can deal with their success.

I'm taking a Women's Studies course on campus and the first day of class, my teacher tells us that women face difficult choices that men don't ever have to make. She gave the example of a girl who wanted to become a doctor and entered University wanting to get her PhD. After a couple of years, she decided that she wanted to become a nurse instead because becoming a doctor would require too much time and she wanted to get married and start a family while she was young. It's kind of a sad story because here is a smart woman who has to compromise one desire for another... and it makes her vulnerable.

I used to work with a man whose wife was the CFO of a company. He came in one day and told us a wonderful story about her. They had recently married and have a one year-old son. He said he got up one day and she came in from outside and told him that she had fed the baby and shoveled the driveway and warmed up his car - all of this BEFORE 7:30AM. His exact words were: "She's pretty amazing, don't you think?" And I... I gained a new respect for him - because he wasn't embarassed to share that story - he wanted to tell people how wonderful his wife was and how grateful he was.

Personally, I think that a man who is man enough to stand behind his wife and be proud of her achievements is definitely a keeper. I know this sounds sad but not all men will date someone who is more successful than them - it hurts the ego, understandably. But I KNOW that there are men out there who redefine the world STRONG...and those men are the ones who encourage, comfort, and support their strong women.